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Time:12:44 am
So I'm kind of hating life right now. Christmas "vacation" sucks. Family drama as usual ensues no matter how much I try and distance myself. My sister got away w/ her little test at independence which failed miserably and because my mom and dad are too afraid to face reality and render any kind of judgment or punishment she'll get away w/ it w/ little more than a slap on the wrist. Bullshit. My brother gets to come home and enjoy his vacation by hanging out w/ his friends and partying till the wee hours of the morning and only has to go back to Seattle to work for 2 days & then gets to come back and enjoy it some more. I'm also forced to dumb myself down and feel stupid or otherwise have what I say mocked while living at home. God I miss school.
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Time:10:12 pm
I don't use my LJ enough and yet my friends page is my homepage in Firefox. Strange? I think so. I think I'll make an attempt just short of a New Year's Resolution to update my LJ more frequently. Stories may or may not be mundane but I think that the expression of my feelings through typing may be cathartic.

So I'm 23 now and another quarter under my belt at CWU. I'm back at home for a couple of weeks for winter break. I've been home since Friday and I already wish it were January. It's not the errand running, or the fact that there is nothing to do here that really bothers me it's 2 things.

1.) The fact that my Mom doesn't treat me like an adult. I'm 23 and can make decisions by myself and can realize the pros and cons of each of them. And if I don't make the right one then as a result I must accept the consequences. That's life and part of being an adult right? The stupidest thing happened tonight & I just lit into her. My phone rang. I have a musical ring tone of a Disturbed song. My Mom starts in on this diatribe about how "that's bad music w/ parental advisory stickers etc." "you shouldn't listen to that" blah blah blah. It is my opinion that my Mom is so overcome w/ empty nest syndrome that she has to look for things to pick at in order to maintain some degree of authority or else face the reality of the fact that her children are independent. So that's the theology behind the event.

And then there is my response. I told her that I'm an adult and that my choice in music has little to no bearing on who I am. I told her that I'm 23 years old now and have been able to decide for myself without her guiding whether or not to purchase CD's with parental advisory stickers on them. That my music is part of my individuality. I said that she would be ill advised to talk like that because she sounds uneducated. That shes drawing conclusions based on nothing more than her personal dislike for music from this generation. I've exonerated myself and I feel better but it's the fact that even at 23 years old I still have to hear this kind of stuff from her. It's ridiculous. Adults need to have adult level conversation w/ one another and not resort to this kind of domineering conversation where one person continually insists that they are right.

2.) Family drama. I won't get into a bunch of details at the moment but the fact that my family is overcome w/ drama and refuses to take any kind of active steps to avoid or at least solve it is beyond me. Everyone wants to compartmentalize it all and not think about it and just sweep it under the rug. And if that can't happen then we look to other people to try & come up w/ a solution and if that solution doesn't work then we'll just continue w/ the same crap and wait for another day. That probably doesn't make sense but it felt good to type it.

That's all I have right now.
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Subject:College Graduate
Time:02:54 pm
Current Mood:ecstaticecstatic
Looking back on my 22 years of life I can think of several events in my life that have filled me with a great deal of pleasure and happiness. Disneyland with my family when I was young, my learners permit & license, graduating high school....

And now I can add to that list. Graduating college! Today officially marks my graduation from WVC, my diploma came in the mail meaning I am the first of the 3 McMahon children to have a college degree under my belt. All that's left now is another year and a half to two years of PR focused classes and I'll have my BA.

I am so pumped it's not even funny!
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Current Music:Tool-- Swamp Song
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Subject:Wenatchee Does it again
Time:04:23 pm
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
I dont really know if I should be blaming Wenatchee, mnyself, my parents, or a combination of those and other factors but the truth remains that I am a 22 year old failure.


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Time:11:26 am
You know what I'm really sick and tired of? Family drama. More specifically my families inability to avoid it and move beyond it. It seems that every week at least once or twice I get a phone call from back home about some random thing that is really minor. I'm 60 miles away and so my question is: what am I supposed to do about it? I don't know what I'm saying. Goodbye.
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Time:11:50 am
So last night at the Starlight:


TJ- "My neighbor invented the Bowflex!"
Meghan- "Chuck Norris invented the Bowflex BITCH!!!!"

Even though my neighbor seriously did.
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Time:10:17 am
RED
Reds are motivated by POWER, seek productivity, and

need to look good to others. Simply stated,

REDS want their own way. They like to be in

the drivers seat and willingly pay the price

to be in a leadership role. REDS value

whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it

be at work, school, or in their personal

relationships. What REDS value, they get

done. They are often workaholics. They will,

however, resist being forced to do anything

that doesnt interest them.

Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave

approval from others for their intelligence

and insight. They want to be respected even

more than they want to be loved. They want to

be admired for their logical, practical

minds. REDS are confident, proactive,

visionary, and can be arrogant, selfish, and

insensitive. When you deal with a RED, be

precise, factual, and direct.


What Color Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Time:02:45 am
I have made some great new friends since I've been at CWU! I had a great time tonight & will post more tomorrow.
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Current Music:Nikki French--Total Eclipse of the Heart (Remix)
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Time:01:22 pm
Current Mood:energeticenergetic
So for the first time in a few years I'm listening to a song that used to bring upa a swell of feelings from a certain someone & as I listen to it right now I can honestly say that I don't feel the same way & that brings a smile to my face. Moving on kicks ass! even if takes forever. I'm feeling good today even though I woke up at like 6:00 AM & couldn't get back to sleep. I need to re-arrange my room or something. People need my "get it done" approach to new problems & I'm distancing myself not only physically (problems in Wenatchee & Seattle & I'm in Ellensburg) but mentally as well. I offer my advice but I'm not gonna do it. I don't know what it is but today is good!

TJm
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Current Music:Disturbed--Violence Fetish
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Time:01:57 pm
So I've determined that having my own room at school is so much better than living with a roommate. I like being able to watch my TV shows without asking which I can now do since I have my TV (but no remote damn it!) & I can sleep in as late as I want & I have been & I feel better. It's so much better! I can also listen to my music when I want & talk on the phone whenever & for as long as I want. I'm really loving it!
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